A crucial decision you’ll make when writing your trust or will is appointing a “trustee” or “executor.“

A trustee is responsible for managing and carrying out the instructions laid out in your trust, while an executor takes charge of fulfilling your wishes as written in your will. Both roles are incredibly important, and they each require someone who is organized, trustworthy, and capable of handling family dynamics under stressful circumstances.

Sometimes, people feel torn about choosing just one person for these roles. They might want to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings or believe that two heads are better than one. As a result, they decide to appoint two trustees or two executors, a situation known as having a “co-trustee” or “co-executor.”

On paper, it might seem like a fair and even thoughtful approach. In reality, though, this setup almost always causes more problems than it solves. As a rule of thumb, appointing co-trustees or co-executors is a terrible idea.

Even if you have complete faith in your family’s ability to cooperate, it’s crucial to remember that death creates an emotional, high-pressure environment. It’s a time when even the most harmonious families can be blindsided by grief, resentment, or old, unresolved tensions. Death doesn’t just magnify emotions—it can also uncover them.

One of the worst outcomes for your estate plan is two co-fiduciaries locking horns over how your wishes should be interpreted or executed. What starts as a minor disagreement can spiral into full-blown conflict, delaying the administration of your estate, increasing costs, and sometimes even damaging family relationships permanently.

In many cases, the disputes between co-trustees or co-executors are not about major issues. They can be petty, stemming from personal grievances or power struggles. Fighting over insignificant matters like who gets to list the house for sale or which realtor to hire can bog down the process for months, sometimes years. Your carefully crafted plan can end up held hostage by stubbornness and pride.

And even if, right now, you are absolutely convinced that the people you would appoint would never fight, it’s still risky to assume that peace will prevail. Death changes people. Grief can make someone who was always reasonable act unpredictably. Sibling rivalries, in-laws, financial pressures—all of these factors have a way of bubbling to the surface when an estate is on the line. You won’t be around to mediate, explain your intentions, or referee disputes.

The bottom line is this: pick your trustee or executor thoughtfully. Choose one person who you trust completely to honor your wishes and manage responsibilities efficiently. Just as important, name an appropriate back-up (known as a successor trustee or successor executor) in case your first choice is unable or unwilling to serve when the time comes.

The goal is simple: you want your passing to create as little additional stress as possible for the people you care about. A clear, clean estate plan with a single point of authority can make an enormous difference when your loved ones need it most.

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